Best Craigslist Ads of the Day

The Los Angeles craigslist is the best place for creepers. Here are some of the best posts of the day, and my commentary on each:

1) $eeking Butt models ( Encino)
Do you have a tight, gorgeous, little ass? offering $3,000 per month for the right ass model. Race open, just be slim, in great shape and between the ages of 18-40. Send your picture and contact number. Details when we talk. Be local, IN THE VALLEY.

I love how they used a dollar sign as the S. "Details when we talk"; if that's not rapist lingo, then I don't know what is. And whoever's ass looks great at 40, please let me know.

2) Looking for girls that want to enter or are experience in modeling (Los Angeles)
Looking for girls that in need for modeling portfolio or been thinking of modeling in want to get there feet wet in modeling. Also experience models that want to update there portfolio. If you feel ready to work send your link or pictures of portfolio, and contact number. If you are what we are looking for someone will contact you in set up photo shoot or interview.

This may come across as horribly racist, but if you are having language barrier issues when you write a craigslist ad about "talent", especially modeling, I picture you as a hairy, smelly, overweight Russian or Italian man, and I immediately write you off as creepy.

3) Seek gorgeous actress to play sexy, psychotic hypnotherapist killer (Hollywood)
Internet media company needs a gorgeous actress to play a sexy, psychotic hypnotherapist. Video will contain REAL hypnosis. Plot themes vary: hypnocrime, hypnomurder, and other forms of evil mind control depicted. Actress should be ambitious, intelligent, power-hungry, and comfortable with the concept of total mind control. For consideration, submit portfolio, resume/salary history, contact information, and good time to reach you. Internet-oriented talent strongly preferred.

This is a cult, brainwashing, murder crime waiting to happen.

4) Tickling models (Los angeles)
I look for a ticklish girls for a tickling jobs, serious job, the girls may are very ticklish. No nude !!!!

This one takes the cake. See my above note regarding language barriers. This doesn't sound like it was written by a creepy foreign guy at all.