Who Wants My Job??

This past weekend was a great one. Had a really successful 201 class, got to go to lunch with my west coast bestie in beautiful weather, shopped the one and only Ikea, got my cable and internet installed, got most of my house put together, had a long convo with my east coast bestie, and relaxed a whole bunch. Most of all, I got really excited to move on from my job at Reveille. The fear of leaving is finally over, and now its just excitement to get on with my life. I have a plan, and I'm not worried at all about executing it.

I came to the realization this past week that even though my boss may have a timeline for me, my timeline for myself will always be more important. He offered to talk with the head of our company about giving me a raise. Which, is terrific. I'm glad he thinks I'm a great worker and deserve to be compensated for ALL the extra shit I do. He mentioned that he'll talk to him first and then I can pull up the rear and solidify the whole thing. He also said he isn't sure 1) If I'll even be granted the raise or 2) If I am, when it will take effect: right away, or in January. That was two weeks ago. To this day, even though I am ready and he KNOWS I'm ready, he still has yet to talk to Lee. He keeps mentioning that he has to, and doesn't. He also mentioned that he's not going to push for it to start right away. I'm beginning to think this offer for a raise is more for his gain and not so much for me. I mean, that's how he operates anyway, so why would this be any different? He's trying to keep me here. He's playing the game.

And you know what? I'm okay with it. Because, in January, I'm outta here. Whether this raise starts now, never, or in January, my timeline that I have set for myself is more important than sticking around to see if I ever get this 30% raise. If it happens in the near future, great. A few extra bucks before I leave. If it doesn't, no skin off my teeth. I'm not going to put what I really want to do on hold while I see if I can make $17 an hour. I'm not emotionally invested enough, and this is DEFINITELY not what I want to do. It doesn't make me happy, and frankly, I hate it and feel like I'm wasting my life.

I also recently realized that all the connections I've made here, the people I have come to know, are still going to be here when I leave. I can still call them up and ask to meet with them, give them my casting documents, etc. I don't have to work here to stay in touch with these people. They have come to be my friends, and I know they will take care of me no matter whether I'm sitting at this desk, or enjoying my life.

I'm excited for what 2010 is going to bring, and I'm glad that I'm not living in fear. I'm honestly optimistic and full of anticipation. I've been ready since the day I moved here (and before) to do what I really am meant to do, I've just been so scared. Now is the time, and I feel like its right.