I don't really know how to handle it when people make excuses. I don't mean, "oh, I can't go to your birthday party because I have to water my fish", I mean the big ones. The excuses that affect peoples' lives and attitudes on a daily basis.
I understand what excuses are: the human's natural reflex to fear. We make excuses because we are scared and/or don't want to be uncomfortable. We all make them. Everytime I pass that crazy homeless man on the corner of Alvarado Ave. I make excuses. Everytime I have to get up early in the morning, I make excuses. My question is, why can't we be productive with that fear? When it comes to MY happiness, and MY success in life, I refuse to let fear control my life, and it makes me really frustrated when others around me make excuses as to why they can't be happy or why they can't have the life they always wanted.
Sure, I'm not a fan of my job. Everyone knows that. But I have plans. I've come to the firm belief that nothing in my life at this moment (my current job, my current and potential financial situations) is as sad, depressing and terrible as not reaching my ultimate goals in life. And what's weird, is that while I currently fear I will be broke, lose friends, and ultimately fail at reaching my goals, I simultaneously have a deeper fear that I am losing time, which fuels me to get past the other fears. So I press on and continue to live everyday with hope and positivity, because, honestly, if your job sucks, you have $2 in your pocket, and $14,000 worth of credit card debt, what else can you do but be happy? What other option is there? Hell if I lay down and die, and HELL if I have people pity me.
If you want change in your life, YOU need to make it, and its not going to come easy. You need patience, self control, focus, and fear. You NEED fear to motivate you to make that change; fear of compromise, fear of complacency, and fear of not being who you always thought you'd be. That fear will help you stay patient, controlled, and focused. The fear that haunts me the most is "What if I look back 15 years from now and I'm not happy with my life?" If I get off my lazy, complacent ass and make the strides to get where I want to be and really work towards true happiness and passion, I highly doubt I'm going to look back on my life later and think, "Gee, I really regret being broke for those 6 years" or "I'm never going to get over the fact I have lots of debt". Things start to look less and less threatening when you prioritize.
With all that said, California's employment rate hit 10.2% yesterday, and I'm leaving my job in the beginning of the year. Am I scared? Eh, sure. Am I worried about making ends meet? Definitely. But you know what I'm more afraid of? Being unhappy and missing my chance at loving my life. So, eff you economy. You can't scare me, or hold me back. I have God on my side, and I will FIGHT to the death to get what I want. If that means living in my car, so be it. If that means maxing out all my credit cards, well then, bring it on. We are lucky to be blessed, and even if you think you are "broke", or "not lucky in life", we live in America. You are lucky in life and you certainly are not poor. We all can afford to sacrifice. I honestly, can afford to sacrifice a lot, I just need to change my lifestyle. Again, while it would be hard, nothing is harder than the reality that I'm not where I want to be. I am willing to sacrifice if that means being happier in the long run. Now, I may be bold and a bit out of my mind, but I am not dumb. I'm not going to up and leave Reveille without a plan. I will have thing(s) lined up, but when I say I'm out of there at the start of 2010, I need to be out of there before February ends. So, I guess I'll be BUSTING my ass to get out of there. No excuses!!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Mr. Carter
There is a man. Correction: he is more than a man; a Legend some might say. His name is Dwayne Carter Jr., aka Mr. Carter, aka Weezy, aka Lil Wayne. The Greatest Rapper alive.
A brave group of documentarians has made a two hour biopic about his life. They followed him around for 6 months and filmed everything. At the beginning of the process, they had Lil Wayne's blessing, but once it was all said and done and they showed him a screening of the first cut, he was not pleased and withdrew his support. That's how real that shit gets.
My bestie JD downloaded this masterpiece from iTunes and we are screening it tomorrow night at his house while enjoying some sizzurp. Well, not real sizzurp, because none of us have a prescription for codine. We are going to make raps and beats and listen to Lil Wayne until our ears bleed. We call this epic fest THA CARTER WEEKEND.
Sizzurp recipe for those who aren't from the streets:
2 liter of A&W root beer
1 small bottle liquid codine
1 small bottle robitussin
That mess will kill you. Apparently. I obviously do not take part in drugs, or mixing drugs for that matter, but to get the full effect of living the life of Lil Wayne, I'm going to probably drink some champagne. And pour some out for my lost homies. And take a swig of Robitussin because I'm feeling a bit of a sore throat and cough coming on anyway.
We have been talking, thinking, breathing Lil Wayne literally nonstop since we learned of this documentary. We already knew wholeheartedly Lil Wayne is the best rapper of our generation, and then to learn that there was a controversial film of his insane life out there for the world's watching, we automatically went into Weezy worship mode. My daily stream of consciousness for the last five days has been Lil Wayne lyrics, quotes from the first ten minutes of the documentary that we found leaked on youtube, and new freestyle lines that come to mind because of the constant Carter inspiration. Needless to say, its been the best five days of our lives, and tomorrow night is going to be the culmination of all things Lil Wayne and we could not be more excited. It will be like the Christmas morning of hip hop.
There will be pictures taken, and rap battles fought. Stay tuned. Here is a convo between me and JD, just a smudge of our pages and pages of dialogue regarding Lil Wayne. I found this one particularly amusing, following the best tweet I've ever made:
TWEET: ash412: tha carter weekend starts tomorrow. can we survive it? as weezy says, "matter of fact its gon kill me b*tch".
bubblesavd3 (6:21:16 PM): i just tweeted the most thug tweet of my life. it even shocked myself.
johnnybravo3dx (6:21:30 PM): i saw
johnnybravo3dx (6:21:34 PM): i almost threw up in excitement
bubblesavd3 (6:22:10 PM): i'm just reading it over and over like a heartfelt greeting card.
johnnybravo3dx (6:24:35 PM): i am so proud of you
bubblesavd3 (6:26:06 PM): i may or may not be writing a blog post right now completely dedicated to the carter weekend.
johnnybravo3dx (6:26:49 PM): haha
johnnybravo3dx (6:27:10 PM): since we're being real right now
johnnybravo3dx (6:27:12 PM): can I tell you deep down how badly i want to call someone a "bitch ass nigga" and mean it
A brave group of documentarians has made a two hour biopic about his life. They followed him around for 6 months and filmed everything. At the beginning of the process, they had Lil Wayne's blessing, but once it was all said and done and they showed him a screening of the first cut, he was not pleased and withdrew his support. That's how real that shit gets.
My bestie JD downloaded this masterpiece from iTunes and we are screening it tomorrow night at his house while enjoying some sizzurp. Well, not real sizzurp, because none of us have a prescription for codine. We are going to make raps and beats and listen to Lil Wayne until our ears bleed. We call this epic fest THA CARTER WEEKEND.
Sizzurp recipe for those who aren't from the streets:
2 liter of A&W root beer
1 small bottle liquid codine
1 small bottle robitussin
That mess will kill you. Apparently. I obviously do not take part in drugs, or mixing drugs for that matter, but to get the full effect of living the life of Lil Wayne, I'm going to probably drink some champagne. And pour some out for my lost homies. And take a swig of Robitussin because I'm feeling a bit of a sore throat and cough coming on anyway.
We have been talking, thinking, breathing Lil Wayne literally nonstop since we learned of this documentary. We already knew wholeheartedly Lil Wayne is the best rapper of our generation, and then to learn that there was a controversial film of his insane life out there for the world's watching, we automatically went into Weezy worship mode. My daily stream of consciousness for the last five days has been Lil Wayne lyrics, quotes from the first ten minutes of the documentary that we found leaked on youtube, and new freestyle lines that come to mind because of the constant Carter inspiration. Needless to say, its been the best five days of our lives, and tomorrow night is going to be the culmination of all things Lil Wayne and we could not be more excited. It will be like the Christmas morning of hip hop.
There will be pictures taken, and rap battles fought. Stay tuned. Here is a convo between me and JD, just a smudge of our pages and pages of dialogue regarding Lil Wayne. I found this one particularly amusing, following the best tweet I've ever made:
TWEET: ash412: tha carter weekend starts tomorrow. can we survive it? as weezy says, "matter of fact its gon kill me b*tch".
bubblesavd3 (6:21:16 PM): i just tweeted the most thug tweet of my life. it even shocked myself.
johnnybravo3dx (6:21:30 PM): i saw
johnnybravo3dx (6:21:34 PM): i almost threw up in excitement
bubblesavd3 (6:22:10 PM): i'm just reading it over and over like a heartfelt greeting card.
johnnybravo3dx (6:24:35 PM): i am so proud of you
bubblesavd3 (6:26:06 PM): i may or may not be writing a blog post right now completely dedicated to the carter weekend.
johnnybravo3dx (6:26:49 PM): haha
johnnybravo3dx (6:27:10 PM): since we're being real right now
johnnybravo3dx (6:27:12 PM): can I tell you deep down how badly i want to call someone a "bitch ass nigga" and mean it
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I Heart Ellen
If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE Ellen DeGeneres. I have loved her show from the beginning, and for the last 2 seasons (since I've discovered the wonderful world of the DVR) I haven't missed one single episode. She is everything I want to be in a person, and she is a tremendous and awesome influence on her audience, the entertainment industry, and the world.
Ellen has been having a busy TV season so far. Her issue of O Magazine comes out in 2 days, and she was just on Oprah's show to speak about the issue, her life, and how her and Oprah are now real life friends. :) I had the privilege of watching the interview via youtube today at work, and have a few observations.
1) Ellen and Portia have a beautiful relationship, and they fit each other so well. You can just tell by their body language and the way the speak to and about each other that their relationship is healthy and really really inspiring.
2) Oprah is a freaking force. I have never seen an episode of Oprah in my life. I watch some bits of interviews and I hear stories, but good Lord. The opening of the episode, Oprah walks out onto the stage and the first thing she does is open her arms out to the crowd in a "the hills are alive with the sound of music" style. The audience (middle aged women) go BONKERS. They are clapping in the air, jumping up and down, there is some serious energy like they are at a Tony Robbins convention. Its incredible.
3) She then goes on to conduct the interview in the most captivating way. She is just talking about random, kind of mundane things, but she brings out the most beautiful answers and says all the right things you can't help but think, "She is soooo right."
Go and watch the interview if you have the chance. Search Ellen on Oprah 9/9/09.
Ellen has been having a busy TV season so far. Her issue of O Magazine comes out in 2 days, and she was just on Oprah's show to speak about the issue, her life, and how her and Oprah are now real life friends. :) I had the privilege of watching the interview via youtube today at work, and have a few observations.
1) Ellen and Portia have a beautiful relationship, and they fit each other so well. You can just tell by their body language and the way the speak to and about each other that their relationship is healthy and really really inspiring.
2) Oprah is a freaking force. I have never seen an episode of Oprah in my life. I watch some bits of interviews and I hear stories, but good Lord. The opening of the episode, Oprah walks out onto the stage and the first thing she does is open her arms out to the crowd in a "the hills are alive with the sound of music" style. The audience (middle aged women) go BONKERS. They are clapping in the air, jumping up and down, there is some serious energy like they are at a Tony Robbins convention. Its incredible.
3) She then goes on to conduct the interview in the most captivating way. She is just talking about random, kind of mundane things, but she brings out the most beautiful answers and says all the right things you can't help but think, "She is soooo right."
Go and watch the interview if you have the chance. Search Ellen on Oprah 9/9/09.
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