Update

Well, life is going okay. Besides the whole "being broke" thing, stuff's moving along.

Mark and I got our anniversary trip sorted out, planned, and paid for. We're going to Dana Point to relax on the beach and go whale watching, and explore Catalina Island for a long weekend. I'm going to need it.

I started my intensive sitcom acting class this past Wednesday. For three Wednesdays in a row I have a 6 hour class, then every day in between we are required to practice in small groups at least 3 hours a day. Its really hard to find 3 extra hours in my day. I've found myself scheduling stuff back to back for the last 6 days. Literally, from 9am-11pm I'm back to back. No rest in between. I finally had a day off yesterday. I took the whole day off. I didn't go to rehearsal and decided I'd make it up on Wednesday before my marathon class. I slept in, went to brunch, went to the park and took a 2 hour nap on a blanket in the sun, then Gina cooked us dinner and then I went to a UCB show. It was a great day. Now I'm back to the grind for a while I guess.

The class is pretty great and I'm meeting some really sweet people. It gives me confidence that mostly all the people in the class actually work as actors and go on auditions constantly and book jobs.....and they really aren't good. lol. I'm really one of the top 5 in the class. It makes me feel good about myself that I don't have any experience, haven't acted in years, and I'm kicking these peoples' butts. Maybe I'll make it after all. I'm learning so much and I really like being in the swing of things again.

I got to film a project with my Reveille friends this past weekend which was super fun. JD and I vowed a while ago that we were going to make projects together, so this is just the start. It was a great time.

I finally balled up and talked to Howard about helping me find a manager. He's been really great about it considering he's Howard. And probably because I see him at Soho House all the time to bother him about it. :) He is going to make some calls for me, he wants me to gather a list of people that I want him to call that would possibly meet with me and be interested in me. Tonight at work he introduced me to this dude who is involved with Generate Management in LA. They rep a lot of comedians. The dude and I exchanged email addresses and he gave me his direct line. He was very interested and Howard talked me up. I googled the company later and found out I had just met the CEO. Ha. So, I'll shoot him an email tomorrow I guess. Exciting!

Soho is still boring me to death, but at least I get to see and talk to cool people. I met Jennifer Anniston tonight, and while we didn't talk about anything significant, I still got to TALK to her. Pretty cool. And lots of others too. I saw Sting, talked to Bret Easton Ellis for a bit. Sarah Silverman and I joke together all the time, and Mindy Kaling and I had a moment the other day. Pretty amazing. I can't let it become mundane and everyday, ya know? I'm trying to be grateful and remember how much the me now wouldn't have believed me last year. I try to forgot how bored I am, how fat I am compared to all the other girls who walk in here, how much my feet hurt, how much money I don't have...and all these other bad thoughts.

Mark had to pay for the majority of my expensives at the beginning of this month. Kind of embarrassing and I feel bad, but I literally couldn't afford it. Sucks, but I'm so so grateful he's here and willing to help me. Thank GOD.

We started a new bi-weekly Bible study with some people from Florida who live out here. We met them through some kids we worked at camp with for a few years. It's really nice to sit in a room with people who share some common bonds and look around and see all the flip flops and talk about Steak N Shake. :) Mark has more time than me to go to church these days. I'm usually working or doing something else on Sundays, but he manages to go often and is getting involved. He talked to some of the leaders last Sunday about helping out with the high schoolers. He's so good at that.

The gym is going..eh..okay. I've had a trainer for almost 3 months now, and I haven't seen any significant changes. A little tighter, but now all my clothes are tight. I'm not doing it right apparently. I have to be better about doing cardio in between sessions, so I'm going to work on that this month and see what changes. I've been trying to eat less too. I already eat pretty healthy, I just eat A LOT. :) I'm going to work on portion control too.

Gina wrapped this season of Ellen yesterday and left this morning to go home to Chicago to visit for a whole month since she's on hiatus now. Lucky! I'll miss her, but it's kind of fun to have the house to myself. I'm contemplating putting an ad on craigslist to see if anyone needs a place for the next 20 or so days haha. Nah. But its tempting.

Mother's Day!

My mom is the best. I know everyone says that about their moms, but, I'm sorry, you apparently haven't met mine. She's sincere, sassy, classy, strong, isn't afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve, invested, educated and independent. As I get older I realize she exudes all the good qualities I strive to have. Its true that you never stop growing up. I've gotten to witness the ways she's grown as a person in the last few years, and I'm so proud of her. She has been through a lot in her 39 years (haha) and she continues to perservere and get stronger, more compassionate, and just plain awesome (which I don't know how that's possible because she has always been the greatest).

At this time in my life, I am overwhelmed by her willingness to just be there for me. I take that for granted. I just recentled discovered that that's the quality I need the most, yet I don't even think about it, and I'm sorry for that. She has always been there for me WHENEVER, and will drop everything. I have never not been able to get a hold of her, or not get her love or encouragement. She has abounding energy for me. Its literally unbelieveable. She never grows weary or tired of me or my sisters' dumbness. She never wants to "get away" from us, I don't recall ever hearing her say or insinuating that she "doesn't have time" for something we need or want. She will spend her last dime and the only free minute of her day to make us happy and healthy.

So, to my mommy on this day and always, I love you with all my heart. Thank you for what you have taught me, the ways you've helped me, your encouragement and your stubbornness, your completely unconditional love, and for always being there. I realize more and more everyday how your sacrifices and love have shaped who I've become and who I've becoming, and I'm so grateful to have a mommy who's not only loving, kind and a good listener (among many other things), but a really great friend. I hope you know how much you are loved. I am so proud of the person I am, and I owe it completely to you.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!

Jitters

I have been having such awful anxiety for the last few weeks. Its not my normal, random anxiety attacks, its ALL THE TIME. I wake up with the jitters and the worries. I can't fall asleep. My body is so exhausted, but my mind feels like it needs to run 45 miles to get the energy out. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. All last week I cried my face off to Glee and Idol Gives Back.

I just traveled to Florida to visit my family for a few days, and it was really nice. I finally got used to the weather on my way to the airport to come back to LA. I didn't get any sleep, but the few hours I was there were relaxing. I didn't have to work which was a nice reprieve. I went to church, the beach, and got to spend a few hours on a yoga retreat. I ate some good food and got to laugh with my sisters. I didn't get to see much of my daddy or my best friend though. :( Next time I guess.

Spoke with some dude two weeks back about him being my manager. He was very convincing, said all the right things, and seemed very legit. No red flags whatsoever. I spoke with some of my other friends about the meeting just to bounce off some ideas and they all told me to go for it. The way it works obviously, is that I don't pay anyone for any type of representation unless I'm getting jobs through them. In other words, they work on commission. Good thing, because I sent this guy all the shit he asked for from me (not that much work on my part honestly; he wanted my other headshots and a short email about my career goals) and I never heard from him again. Weird. He was like, practically begging me to be his client. Whatever. Onto the next one. I'm working on sending out a mass mailing to some management companies I've been researching so hopefully at least a few bites will come from that.

Work has been quite the bore. I don't really like it all that much, and the dayshifts are so slow I want to rip my eyes out. I wish I could sit down, or be on the computer, or SOMETHING. But management are out of their minds and literally want us to just stand here. They don't want us checking our email, eating a snack, drinking anything other than water, or leaving our "post" even to go to the bathroom. So, I'm on my feet for 8 hours straight, and I just stare into space or smile at members. Or if I'm feeling bold, I just do what I want and discreetly eat a granola bar or post on my blog (whoopsies). It's the worst. Night shifts are a bit better because they are fast paced and I get to see cool people.

I need something to take up my time other than work. At least I'm not there all that much. I'm currently still trying to find a 401 class that fits my schedule. I'm nervous to take it without JD, and its been a while since I've finished 301, but the longer I wait the more anxious I get about it, so I have to just DO IT.

The weather is finally starting to get nice here. Hopefully all this work at the gym will pay off soon. Its been almost a month and I don't see any real results yet. Probably because I need to balance it with my diet (whoopsies again).

I have an appointment at the Santa Monica Wellness Center next week to see about what's going wrong with my stupid body. No crazy breakouts as of this month, but some other crap has been going on, so I really need to have someone check me out and see what's out of balance, and I refuse to go to another western practicing doctor.

What a weird, downer post, huh? Well, on a lighter note, summer is starting and I can't wait for camp and Rachel's wedding. Mark and I are trying to plan a trip for our 6 year anniversary in June. I'm thinking somewhere close to the coast down south. Capistrano? Around there. Just for a weekend.

And that's about it for now. I'll catch you up soon. Oh, and I got to see Dr. Dre last night. :)

Wowwy WOW

I. Am. So. Sorry.

American Idol is now down to the top 6. I'm so embarrassed that its been that long since I've posted anything. I'm a slightly bit more embarrassed at the fact that I'm judging my life timeline by what episode American Idol is on.

So. I work at Soho House. I had big aspirations for this place. I still do. Its just slow moving, and not at ALL like I expected. Reveille was kind of a tease, and a whole 'nother world for me. Coming to SH, I'm finally seeing the superficial, backstabing, brown-nosing, dramatic side of Hollywood, which I guess I needed to see eventually. I miss Reveille sometimes. Management knew what they were doing like they wrote the book, every single person was so sweet and kind, we all had a job to do and knew how to do it, and we didn't give a flying poop about who you were, who you you knew, what your job was, we are going to treat you the SAME as everyone else. Reveille just GOT it. Here...well...wow. Its a shit show. The management doesn't know how to manage. They don't know how to talk to their employees properly, we never get any encouragement, and they are constantly running around like a chicken with their heads cut off because none of them have a sense of security in their position. Its terrible. They are all so dramatic and up the members' butts.

Soho House is a members only club, lounge and restaurant. Its actually a pretty great concept. People come with their laptops at 9am, do all their work here, take their meetings, and stay until their dinner reservation at 7 or 8 with their family or friends. The food is amazing, the cocktails are TOP NOTCH, and the atmosphere and view is breathtaking. (I'm not allowed to take pictures but I have some on my iPhone if you'd ever like to see what it looks like, shhhh!) Its just a really chill place that can be a venue for so many things. We have private parties, pre screenings, premiere parties, but then we also have backgammon night, Mother's Day brunch, and Kid's Club. Its very ecclectic; a novel concept, I just wish the people running it were more personable, knowledgeable, and humble toward the members. We have a LOT of celebrity clientelle, and I've heard some of them complain about how "up their butt" the membership team is. Whoopsies.

My schedule is pretty good. I like to have a mixture of working nights and days, especially right now because I don't have much going on, so I'm okay being on the schedule whenever. My bank account has taken a SERIOUS dive, but I'm still doing okay on money, and I'm doing my best to be as frugal as possible (nope, that's a lie).

This month I've been trying to jump start my career. Because 1) that's what I'm here to do, and 2) I need the supplemental income. :) I have a new acting coach, Lesly Kahn, who is one of the best in the business. I took an auditioning technique class with her, and it was incredible. The vibe reminded me a lot of my days with Peter Sklar. Very relaxed, fun people, and its one on one feedback not just about your talent, but about marketing yourself. Her classes are in this really big house in Hollywood, and you come in, take off your shoes, and relax in one of the big "classrooms" which are really just big spaces with rugs, pillows and couches. There's a kitchen stocked with all these healthy snacks for us, and Lesly is super fun, so sometimes she'll get us treats like doughnuts or cookies. If we're good and she likes us. :) VERY much like my Beginnings sessions with Peter in New York. Makes me nostalgic for those times. I've signed up for a three week intensive with her and her staff at the beginning of June. She likes me a lot, and I'm excited to get training again, and get the passion back. I miss being in practice, and its made me rusty, and super self-conscious.

I finished my UCB 301 last month! I've been looking for a convenient 401 class to take. After 401...I graduate. Can you believe it? I'll be considered a legit improviser. Its getting more difficult as the classes go on, but I'm definitely getting better and its getting more fun. I've gotten a lot of my friends to sign up too, and they're having a ball. I have to get in a 401 before I lose momentum.

Last month it was announced that Glee was having an open casting on myspace.com for some new roles on the show. Now, me being the skeptic actor, and someone who's been immersed in television legal documents for the last year knows what this "casting" is all about. Its a marketing campaign. They guarantee you a "role" (aka, you are student #3, and your 15 seconds of fame is Sue Sylvester throwing you up against a wall), or more specifically they guarantee if you are "chosen" by the casting staff you will be contacted for further info. Yeah. This is all a giant marketing ploy to get myspace's popularity back up, and to draw people into the new season of Glee. I get it. It's not a huge deal if you post a serious video and have your friends rate it. But, that's why I have friends in high places. My good friend David works for FOX and talks to Glee executives a lot. He told me last night as we were filming my tape that Glee is looking for 6 new cast members: a gay boyfriend for Kurt, a really good black dude, and the rest girls. So, I guess my skepticism isn't all warranted. They are really looking for people. But whether that's through myspace, or actual backdoor agency castings...that's the real story. Another hook up is my accompanist. He gave me the info to the actual casting office of the agency who casts for Glee (we found it on imdb.com and then he did a bit more research) and I'm going to personally drop off my headshot, resume, and film to their office. So hopefully that will be helpful as well. I filmed my video last night. My wonderful friends Jesse and David helped me, and it was really fun. I haven't sang (I mean, full out, stage-level sang) in FIVE YEARS. How sad. At the accompanist on Tuesday, I sang through the song about 4 times full force, and my lungs and voice were SO tired. Last night, I did it full force 3 times, and I hurt. :( I gotta get back into it. But, the video's done, Jesse is tweaking it and editing it, and I should get it up shortly. If I like it, I'll post the link.

Today I meet with this dude Rod about possibly being managed by him. I met him through a friend at Reveille, and he is pretty legit. We'll see what he has to say. This is already the longest blot post ever, so I'll catch you up on all my management meetings in the next one. I promise to not let so much time pass in between.

And I go home to Florida for a few days next weekend!!

American Idol Season 9: DALLAS and DENVER

I stayed up until about 2am on Sunday night finally finishing the Dallas and Denver episodes.

Welp, nothing too exciting in either of the D-Towns this time around.

In Dallas, there was creepy Barney girl, who went all Britney/Christina on the judges and wanted to show how she sexily rebelled against her childhood. Snooze and sleeze fest. She wasn't that good either. She'll be gone quickly in Hollywood week hopefully.

How adorable was Todrick? Once he said he was touring with the Color Purple, I knew he had to be good, and he even made up the most clever original song about the judges and AI. Very nice. He is the epitome of the "perfect pick" to go through to Hollywood: creative, good vocals, good stage presence, humble and sane.

I am really growing to love Victoria Beckham. I saw her on Ellen, and she was very quiet, but such a doll, and then to see her on all these eps of American Idol, she is so endearing and such a sweetheart! She was the guest judge yet again in Denver.

Mark Labriolla tried to convince us that people mistake him for Jack Black. Um. #1, you don't look anything like him besides that you're overweight, and #2, you try to make every maneurism mimic Jack Black. TRYING to be Jack Black doesn't make you him darling. Annoying.

Kimberly Kerbow sang Ingrid Michaelson (good song choice). She has a very sweet voice, and deserved to go through, but was OBVIOUSLY wearing a wig. Very odd. And NO one said anything about it to her face. The judges finally briefly commented on it after she left the room. They made a whole storyline out of her singing the Rogaine line of the Ingrid song directly to Simon, who became defensive and a bit offended. Rogaine? Wig? Ironic?

Danielle Hayes blew me out of the water with her Melissa Ethridge rendition. She has such passion and I appreciate her candidness. I think I use the same judging criteria as Kara for a lot of these kids. If you've gone through some shit, your voice is going to be so passionate and moving, and she was exactly those things.

Casey James did nothing for me. He wasn't hot, and was an okay singer. Where's all the hot guys American Idol??

Did Nikki Nix remind anyone else of Tatiana from last season, minus the annoying laugh?

Haeley Vaughn is SO sweet and has a firm grasp on how to be competitive. She knows she wants to be one of the first black, pop/country stars. A great goal, and she has a great voice. A real stand out.

Danielle and Haeley were my definite two favorites out of the D-Towners. Links to their auditions below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5H-kQSJcOM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWoAgATSwK8

Give A Care

Here's an interesting thought that crossed my mind tonight: Does one live longer by caring, or by not giving a care?

I have actually been battling with this question for a long time without realizing it. It comes with being existentially anxious, so I learn to cope with this control mechanism of "caring" on a daily basis. Is that all that caring is? A way to isolate something so that you can control it yourself, and rationalize it? Let me explain: I care about people in my life. A lot. And tonight, it finally occured to me, maybe I care too much.

I once read in one of my psychology books during undergrad that people who don't have children are happier people. They are generally healthier, are more successful in their careers, and have less stress, which leads to a longer life and ultimately, a more constant happy state. Parents on the other hand, are less happy, but feel like they are contributing to the world. A parent will tell you that having their child(ren) was the most wonderful thing to ever happen to them, but I think that's just an excuse for the fact that you might as well like it because you can't get out of it now, and while yes, you can find joy in your child, you'll never know how happy you could've been without them. (There is a point to this I promise.)

I think deep down everyone has goals for themselves. You voice those goals to people you trust, sometimes work towards them, and ask people to hold you accountable in one way or another. When you fall off track, it hurts me on a deep level. I invest time in you. I talk to you whenever you want to talk, I encourage you, I am kind and patient, I laugh at your mistakes and your downfalls because I hope that you will learn and understand from them, I am there for you at all times to lend an ear, to help you, to finance you; I invest my time. Not for my own gain, but because you tell me you want to achieve these things over and over again, and that you want to work toward them, and sometimes you do, and then all of the sudden, all the work comes crashing down, and I'm just supposed to watch it happen and be okay with it because its "not my life?" Well, it is my life. Because you're my friend. And I put my emotions and effort into you, your well being, and your goals in life. When you fail, I fail. I understand people stumble, but when you blatently don't give a shit, and are an obviously strong enough person to accomplish said goals but choose to embarrass yourself and let yourself down, should I stand for that over and over again? How many times can one person talk all this talk, put in around 53% of the effort, be an idiot, and I'm supposed to just start all over again? What if I don't feel like it because it hurts? Do I care too much?

There are a few friends that I have where I see the potential in them, but I don't let myself get involved because I know they aren't trying to better themselves, are happy with who they are, and aren't asking for the "help". Not saying I friend people because they are in need of help, I'm just saying, there are those friends that you know are set in their ways, and you are fine with that. You are friends, you are close with them, but you love them for who they are because they know who they are. I guess I should just approach every friendship in that way. Tell people I don't want to hear what their expectations in life are because its going to piss me off when they ignore them.

I carry the burden of all this on my shoulders because I put a tiny bit of the blame on myself everytime you don't give a shit. That's probably my fault, and I'd probably have less stress in my life if I didn't care. But how do you just NOT care? That's impossible, and kind of rude. How do you tell your friend, "You know what, don't ask me to pray for you, or to help you get your priorities in line, or help you in this endeavor at all. Don't expound on the process of how you're going to get there and how much happier you'll be once you do, because I know you will only let me down and I don't want to put in all the 'help' you ask from me and be made a mockery of." How do you ever have close friends if you don't care, but how do you not hurt yourself in the process? How many times do you have to go through the cycle until you decide that your heart can't handle it?

Would my life be better, and could I possibly tack on a handful of years by not getting so involved? Probably. Would I have any close friends or children? No. But is it worth all the pain and stress? I haven't figured that out yet.

Life Update

I will get back to blogging about American Idol soon kids. I know, I'm like a week and a half behind, but things have been crazy around here. This is going to be a long one...

First of all, my roommate Gina and I had a terrific housewarming party last weekend! If you asked us the afternoon before, and even in the thick of the party, we would've told you we were about 82% sure we would be served an eviction notice in the following week because of the shindig. We invited about 50 people, 25 of which rsvp'd "yes", and then 40 of which actually showed up. It was loud, and crowded, but very fun. We had tons of food, cranked the music to 100, and mingled. It was great. And everyone was gone by midnight. Perfect.

The big news of my life is that I am leaving Reveille. Yes. The day has finally come, I didn't forget the promise I made to myself. I was offered a job at the new Soho House that is opening at the beginning of March on Sunset. If you don't know about Soho House, you can get some info at sohohouse.com, and read about each individual house, or just google "Soho House". I will be working 30 hours (tops) a week there, either the breakfast, lunch, or dinner shift, being paid $14 an hour. I will be a part of guest services, pretty much a personal assistant to each member for the duration of their visit there, whether for a meeting, or for a meal, or just hanging out. A true blessing. A respectable, fun, classy job, that pays well, and has the hours I need to pursue what I'd like to actually pursue. Everyone at Reveille, especially Jeff, is really excited and happy for me. One of the best parts is that a few of my executives are members of Soho House, so I'll still be seeing them on a regular basis. I told Jeff last night that I will be starting at SH on February 17th, which means I have two weeks of full time here, and then I'll be back periodically until the end of February wrapping stuff up and training someone new when I can. Which will be perfect.

I'm really excited about my new opportunity and my new found time. :) I'm also really scared. I don't have an excuse anymore for not auditioning and putting myself out there. Before it was that I had a 60+ hour a week job, and I was tired at night, and had to catch up on life on the weekends. Now, I'll be a bit poorer, but I'll finally have the freedom to get the ball rolling. We'll see what happens.

I am going to miss my Reveille life so much. I don't know anything else but them. They were here for me when I had no one else. They have literally become my family. I moved here with nothing and no one, and they took me in, took a chance on me, welcomed me and loved me like I never thought anyone here in LA ever would. They have taken such good care of me, on so many different levels. I have never been more grateful for an opportunity in my life, and talking to Jeff last night about leaving, I started to cry.

Jeff and I are usually the last ones in the office. Everyone goes home around 7 or 8, but him and I are still here, plugging away, and in his worst times of procrastination and/or ADD, he'll come up to my desk, or I'll go back there, and we'll shoot the shit. Last night, I sat on that couch in his office for probably our last "life" talk. He was nothing but supportive, as always. I explained to him that this was probably the last thing he needed right now with how busy we all are, especially him, but I got another opportunity that would be best suited for what I want to pursue. We talked about it for a while, and it was a lot less scary once I got talking. I was so worked up all day, scared about how he might react, and I really think the grace of God was in that room when we talked. We had a pretty solid conversation about the new position and the possibilities, and then he started to talk about this past year and the my waterworks began. He told me that he couldn't have picked someone better to grow with and to teach, and that I should be extremely proud of myself for coming straight out of undergrad to LA and into the thick of it all and doing a better job than most. He was so proud of me, and he wants me to follow my dreams, and knows without a doubt that I'm going to do great things. He also wanted to make sure that my parents knew and approved. He said, "Okay, wait, do I need to call Norm and Val?"

I do not like my job. I love my company, my boss treats me well and takes care of me like family, but I don't like my job. Its boring, its not what I want to be doing in the slightest. Mostly, the hours are so extreme that it wears on me emotionally and mentally that I don't have time to do what I really want to do, which makes me hate it for a whole other reason. Jeff agreed with me that staying here is just going to stagnate me. If I really want to do this "acting thing" as he called it, I need to get out there and see what happens. When we talked before the holidays about where I want to go, what I was contemplating about my career, etc. He offered to give me a few random afternoons to audition. As long as I told him in advance and was sure to only take a few hours. He had no idea how it worked. Its not like a dentist appointment. I can't guarantee its going to be a certain number of hours, I can't even guarantee I can tell you a day in advance. But, he told me that after we talked, he spoke to an agent friend of his who gave him a reality check on how time consuming it actually is to pursue an acting career, and that's when he knew he had to let me go.

It was just a blessing that we could have a conversation about me moving on and be on the same page. He didn't try to bribe me to stay, he didn't try to talk me out of it, or make me feel stupid for taking advantage of a "lesser" opportunity. I stayed late last night, after Jeff went to his dinner appointment, and hung out with some of my friends around here. We sat around, ate sushi, talked about our jobs and our dreams and our opportunities. They congratulated me and just loved on me. Its going to be so hard to leave them. My family. Alex, JD and Chris coached me all day on what to say to Jeff and literally would stop what they were doing to take me aside and console me before my "big talk". Alex stayed later to make sure that it went okay, and she even helped me practice what to say beforehand. This whole week she has checked on me every few hours to see how I was doing, if I had heard from my new employers, how I was feeling about it all, etc. The loves of my life. I can't believe I was given the opportunity to be with these people, and to call them my friends. I can't believe they let me work here. I can't believe I got placed at one of the most upward moving, caring, companies in LA. I hear horror stories of other jobs and other employers around this town, and when I mention to someone that I work for Reveille, they go on and on about how lucky I am to work for "such a great company". I'm truly blessed. And I know I can always come back and have a place here. Not necessarily to work (I mean, if I ever wanted to, I probably could come back for that) but if I ever want to come visit, I'll be welcomed with open arms.

So, I guess you will never have to hear me bitch about my desk job ever again. :) I hope this new opportunity proves to be as helpful and promising as it seems to be. By the way, I got to pick out my uniforms yesterday morning and they are BALLER. They are all made by Keiss out of the UK, and I got to mix and match a whole rack of clothes and they're ordering my sizes. I felt like Lauren Conrad. :) My training starts the 17th, and then the opening is March 1st. They aren't open to their members for the first two weeks, because its reserved for private Golden Globe parties only. You heard me. This is going to be a legit job. And this is going to be a legit 2010.

American Idol Season 9: LA

Whoa, sorry I'm a bit late on these posts. It's been a topsy turvy week.

Listen kids. Let me give you a little advice. An audition for American Idol is about four things: 1) Likeability. Are you someone that the nation can relate to/root for/like as a person? 2) Looks. You have to know who you are. Are you the sexy one? Are you the artsy one? Are you the family man, the blue collar guy, the homegrown guy? You need to make sure they know WHO you are. 3) Song choice. Once again, you need to know who you are. Pick an awesome song that not many others would pick, that is easy to sing under pressure, that you sing WELL, and that shows what kind of artist you imagine yourself as. 4) You NEED to have a story. This is the hard part. If you are a normal kid from O-Town who leads a pretty normal life (me) you aren't going to make it to the judges. You need to find something that makes your journey unique.

Can I please just preface my city's auditions by saying, Los Angeles, although sometimes wacky, is NOT as trashy, weird, or flamboyantly gay as they portrayed on Idol this past week. Rediculous. But, Andrew Garcia was the stand out of the whole two days. Right when he walked in with those emo glasses and a neck tat, I knew he would be the one to blow everyone else I've seen so far this season out of the water. Incredible. The family segment of his interview was adorable, and how FREAKIN legit was his dad?! Did you get a looksee at those gang tats?? Holy s-h.

Um. Mary Powers. Terrible. I do NOT know why she was allowed into Hollywood week. She sang a cop out song (a good song, but an easy song) and had the most awkward stage presence of anyone I've ever seen. Simon thankfully called her out on her hideous and faux "rocker" impersonation. It looked like she just stepped out of a angsty 15 year old's closet who works part time at Hot Topic. She'll be gone pretty quick hopefully.

Annnddd, then there was Chris. Creepy Chris, who was seriously and obviously channeling Justin Guarini. I mean, bless his heart, he has had a rough road, but it seemed all that got him through was his story because his vocals definitely didn't shine. I'm surprised no one mentioned the blatant Justin Guarini resemblance.

Its always very awkward when ugly people try to be overly sexual. I found myself dry heaving numerous times within the 7 minutes of Jason Greene's "audition", if you could call it that. So uncomfortable and disgusting. I just wanted it to be over.

I tried to hold it in, but here comes the rage: DO NOT TRY TO BE ADAM LAMBERT, PEOPLE. I was LITERALLY standing yelling at the tv during the segment of "Adam Lambert wannabes". That's exactly what they were, wannabes, not even close to his talent. Then, AJ Mendoza, had the balls and audacity to say that he sent his demo to Adam and "Adam had nothing but fantastic things to say about my voice." Bullshit AJ. He was being nice to you. You sucked. Don't try to be my boy. Ever. You will never be as good.

Please watch Andrew and cry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f0_YyxpDYI&feature=player_embedded Put on a diaper starting at 2:04 because you WILL be peeing yourself.

And please watch AJ Mendoza and puke. If I ever see him on the streets around here, I'll probably laugh in his face. What a jerk. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3bAKwky85w

And then watch my Adam's audition. :) I'm glad someone helped him with his breathing once he started performing on the show. Don't let Paula's hat distract you from his vocals. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHN51MtHDTI

American Idol: Season 9 CHICAGO and ORLANDO

I'm melding these two cities together because there really wasn't that much excitement between the two of them. They both are great cities, and are always promising, but alas, nothing earth shattering.

Chicago, I can't even remember what happened there it was so uneventful. I remember a montage of a lot of people pissed off towards the camera for not getting chosen, and the golden tickets were slim.

In Orlando, I was hoping to see people that I knew!! :( None. Maybe next season, right guys? (We always say that, don't we?). But, there were a few stand outs. I liked the story of the guy with the autistic son, even if it did seem like they were stretching for a story and putting the little boy in an awkward situation. The dude had a good voice though, and a great heart. The last audition of day 2 was my favorite. His story was a bit lame ("I did 4 years in jail for robbing a bank with a bb gun." Really??!) but the minute he busted out that Ray LaMontagne, I melted. What a great song to choose, and he sounded great. If he keeps those kinds of tunes up, like Kara said, he'll go to the top 12 for sure.

This coming week is Los Angeles, at the Rose Bowl. Grr. I should've taken off that day and went. I hope there's some good people! Adam Lambert came from the LA audition last year. :)

American Idol: Season 9 ATLANTA

Welp, last night was Hotlanta. I went to Atlanta once. Downtown Atlanta is the scariest place I've ever been in my life. I have walked around downtown Los Angeles in a mini skirt at 1am, I have roamed the streets of New York City as a 15 year old, yet I have never been more scared than I was visiting the ATL just a few years ago. Its dirty, trashy, there were tons of alleys and crevaces to get lost in, and the only halfway presentable place was the Olympic centennial park. I don't want to know what that city looked like before the Olympics graciously celebrated there.

I was pretty excited about the Atlanta auditions. One of my favorite artists of all time, Mary J Blige, was the guest judge, and I was ready for some awesome soul singing. I conveniently forgot that the Atlanta regional auditions also mean all the country folk from the surrounding states hitch up their wagons and come to sing Loretta Lynn and Garth Brooks.

There was one INCREDIBLE R&B singer. His look reminded me of Pharrell, but he sang like Usher meets John Legend, Brian McKnight, or one of Usher's more mature counterparts. I'll be rooting for him for sure.

Then, there was precious Vanessa from Vanore. She sang one of my favorite songs of all time, "Wagonwheel" by Old Crow Medicine Show, and was SO completely nervous. If you didn't get to see her, please youtube her audition and her interview. She has a very distinct voice, not necessarily great, but she has an amazing story; someone you really want to root for. I cried when they told her she was going to Hollywood. I'm excited to see how she'll transform.

Unless you've been living under a rock today, I'm sure you've heard about the General. He was obviously too old to audition, but the crew and Ryan ended up loving him and invited him to sing his song for the judges. Youtube "Pants on the ground" and prepare to see Mary J laugh more than you've ever seen a black woman laugh in your life.

Now, I love the my Blige, but why the long face, girl? She looked so extremely bored during ALL of the auditions. I think she was disappointed because she had the same expectation for Atlanta I did: R&B/hip hop voices!

There were many more good ones in Atlanta than Boston. Some were downright great. That police officer towards the end? He reminds me a bit of Michael Carver, but better. And not as scary looking.

American Idol: Season 9 BOSTON

Oh boy. Its that time of year again. American Idol season is like freakin Christmas in my eyes. I was BLASTING Adam Lambert in the car yesterday night as a kick off in honor of this momentus season. I know I'm one night late, but I was contemplating if I really should create a sounding board for myself this season. I always say I will and then never do, and as the seasons go on, I wish I had some place to voice my emotions. Yesterday, after I freaked out to my boyfriend about open call Glee auditions, (and proceeded to sing him my whole repertoire) he mentioned during the show that he liked to hear my critique of the people and the show. That may have been a good thing to say, or a bad thing. But its a good excuse, so, on that note, now I will begin the tradition.

I'm a bit worried about this season. I feel like the American Idol run is coming to a close, and I need to take it all in. With the departure of Paula, and the imminent departure of Simon, I fear this may be the last good season. We shall see. In the mean time, I stay glued to my dvr.

Its only been one audition city and I've already seen the most adorable Irishman that I'm going to swoon after all season. His name is Luke. He has red hair and the most perfect, dainty, Irish slant nose you've ever seen. Not the best vocals ever, but he has this alternative vibe going on. He's my American Idol so far.

They decided to litter this first audition episode in Boston with both heartwarming and cliche stories of trying moments in people's lives. There was one dude who battled cancer, there was one girl who was 1 of 9 children, 3 of whom are Down's boys (adorable). And then, there were the stories that they were fishing for: The 16 year old who is "really really close" to her alzheimers grandma. Who has a voice that we've all heard before. The 16 year old who sounds like LeighAnn Rimes. ZZzzz. Boring. Been there, done that, time for a new breed. And I'm sick of the black girls who sound like all the typical gospel singing, Jennifer Hudson worshipping black girls. Where are the Lauren Hills or the Corine Bailey Raes? Come on people.

And of course, my least favorite part of the show, all the rejects. I feel so bad for those people. Plus, they take up the minutes that I could be watching all the people who ACTUALLY got a ticket to Hollywood! At the end of every audition episode Ryan always says, "and {insert number} hopefuls get their golden ticket to Hollywood" and they flash through everyone yelling, jumping and crying for 15 seconds, and half of them you didn't see audition at all. Instead I had to watch some serious Bostonian ("wicked awesome") with a short shirt and ugly gut try to sing Pocket Full of Sunshine.

There weren't very many stand outs to me in Boston. Besides Ginger Luke. The girl with 3 Down's Syndrome brothers was sweet, but not an amazing voice. There was one girl who was REALLY good (wearing glasses, shorter, wavy hair) but they didn't show a lot of her audition! Ugh. I can't wait until Hollywood week where the emphasis is talent. And can I be frank for a second? That serial killer dude with the hipster glasses was actually, really good. Too bad he was a complete dick.

I will be blogging every episode! Stay tuned.