So Live Your Life, ay ay, ay ay, ay ay

I don't really know how to handle it when people make excuses. I don't mean, "oh, I can't go to your birthday party because I have to water my fish", I mean the big ones. The excuses that affect peoples' lives and attitudes on a daily basis.

I understand what excuses are: the human's natural reflex to fear. We make excuses because we are scared and/or don't want to be uncomfortable. We all make them. Everytime I pass that crazy homeless man on the corner of Alvarado Ave. I make excuses. Everytime I have to get up early in the morning, I make excuses. My question is, why can't we be productive with that fear? When it comes to MY happiness, and MY success in life, I refuse to let fear control my life, and it makes me really frustrated when others around me make excuses as to why they can't be happy or why they can't have the life they always wanted.

Sure, I'm not a fan of my job. Everyone knows that. But I have plans. I've come to the firm belief that nothing in my life at this moment (my current job, my current and potential financial situations) is as sad, depressing and terrible as not reaching my ultimate goals in life. And what's weird, is that while I currently fear I will be broke, lose friends, and ultimately fail at reaching my goals, I simultaneously have a deeper fear that I am losing time, which fuels me to get past the other fears. So I press on and continue to live everyday with hope and positivity, because, honestly, if your job sucks, you have $2 in your pocket, and $14,000 worth of credit card debt, what else can you do but be happy? What other option is there? Hell if I lay down and die, and HELL if I have people pity me.

If you want change in your life, YOU need to make it, and its not going to come easy. You need patience, self control, focus, and fear. You NEED fear to motivate you to make that change; fear of compromise, fear of complacency, and fear of not being who you always thought you'd be. That fear will help you stay patient, controlled, and focused. The fear that haunts me the most is "What if I look back 15 years from now and I'm not happy with my life?" If I get off my lazy, complacent ass and make the strides to get where I want to be and really work towards true happiness and passion, I highly doubt I'm going to look back on my life later and think, "Gee, I really regret being broke for those 6 years" or "I'm never going to get over the fact I have lots of debt". Things start to look less and less threatening when you prioritize.

With all that said, California's employment rate hit 10.2% yesterday, and I'm leaving my job in the beginning of the year. Am I scared? Eh, sure. Am I worried about making ends meet? Definitely. But you know what I'm more afraid of? Being unhappy and missing my chance at loving my life. So, eff you economy. You can't scare me, or hold me back. I have God on my side, and I will FIGHT to the death to get what I want. If that means living in my car, so be it. If that means maxing out all my credit cards, well then, bring it on. We are lucky to be blessed, and even if you think you are "broke", or "not lucky in life", we live in America. You are lucky in life and you certainly are not poor. We all can afford to sacrifice. I honestly, can afford to sacrifice a lot, I just need to change my lifestyle. Again, while it would be hard, nothing is harder than the reality that I'm not where I want to be. I am willing to sacrifice if that means being happier in the long run. Now, I may be bold and a bit out of my mind, but I am not dumb. I'm not going to up and leave Reveille without a plan. I will have thing(s) lined up, but when I say I'm out of there at the start of 2010, I need to be out of there before February ends. So, I guess I'll be BUSTING my ass to get out of there. No excuses!!